The Skelly Rocker




Poop Drone!

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Following the on-going fight against irresponsible dogs who leave their waste at their behinds, literally, local police have come up with what they feel is a solution to this blight which is ruining our otherwise perfect and peaceful community.

The use of drones powered by the latest in AI (Aberdeen Intelligence) and armed with an impressive array of cameras and sensors and deterrent systems is being trialed in the Cove Bay area.

Local Bobby, Bobby McBobson, explained; “This drones is the state-of-the-ark technologies. We can remotely monitor the activities of the dogs at this times and take action as and if required.”

The drone is loaded with a thermal camera sensitive enough to determine the variation between a dog’s normal body heat and any effluent that it may produce. Using GPS the drone then determines the level of risk to other users of that area. Actions then can include remote reading of the dog’s chip and an automatic fine being sent to the owner along with a free sample of lavender scented poo bags, and for real naughty dogs the drone comes with a taser and sidewinder missiles.


Sergeant McBobson also added that the drone was great for allowing the force to locate and report the location of the ice cream van, which is often heard but seldom seen!

Some youths, who were asked for their opinion on the scheme were quoted as saying, “It wisnae us, honest!”

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